Some words on: Splitting the atom with pill-cutters and patience

Logically, as I move on to lower doses of medication, also the adjustments on the way to the next smaller dose need to become finer. Pill-cutters work great when it comes to halving tablets, or even splitting sufficiently large, round tablets into quarters. But unless you can get hold of low-dosage pills, the utility of this gadget has its limits. More often than not, my attempting to cut pills into exact portions smaller than one half, has resulted in me plucking minute white crumbs out of the pill-cutter and piecing them together to approximately one day´s dose. Some pills simply resist being cut precisely. To avoid such hassle, I prefer using my pill-cutter in combination with a method of spacing out the intake of the old, higher dose in favor of the next lower one. The underlying idea is to gradually diminish the average amount of the respective substance in my organism until reaching the following lower target dose. Here is an example of how I have been doing it:

graphic sertraline withdrawal

I came across this procedure in Dr. Peter Breggin´s book Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal, and have mentioned it briefly in an earlier post on this blog as well. The graphic above does not reflect the exact way Dr. Breggin helps his patients decrease their drug intake, but it is an adaptation of his idea to my own circumstances. Another way of doing it by blocking high and lower doses according to a weekly plan would be to take the new dose on one day of the first week, two following days of the second week, three following days of the third week, and so on. It could look something like this – red spaces represent the old, higher dose of a drug and blue spaces the new, lower one:

suggestion weekly withdrawal plan

As you can see, the concept is flexible. You or your doctor may come up with other variations, even shortening or lengthening the duration of each step in your withdrawal process according to your own needs. In addition, I have to point out, once again, that I am not a professional in the medical field. This blog documents my individual way of handling medication withdrawal, but I am in no way qualified to give anyone else instruction in this matter. My hope and purpose is to encourage you to acquire the means and the support you need to improve your health. If you believe the method of psychiatric drug withdrawal I am describing in this article might also be helpful in your case or for someone you know, please seek further information with professionals and consult relevant literature. I am sorry if I am repeating myself with this sort of disclaimer, but I truly do not wish for anyone to get hurt in the execution of domestic experiments with psychoactive substances.

Up to now, I have been faring well using this method of dose reduction. All that is necessary is to keep track of where you are at in your plan – and to have your plan for each dose reduction written out for your reference. Personally, I keep a handwritten list of days and corresponding dosages, and tick off day by day. This way, each decrease in dosage takes me around five to six weeks. After completing the change, I wait for another couple of weeks before I make any modifications to my intake of the other drug I am using. Thereby, I hope to make sure each alteration of my medication plan is well under control in that I can recognize any adverse reactions and, most importantly, relate them directly to specific changes I have made. In order to take psychiatric medications, and also in order to wean off them safely, it is vital to notice the effects using them – or ceasing to use them – has on you. When you experience negative side-effects or withdrawal symptoms, you need to find out what caused them. A clear-cut medication and withdrawal plan helps generate such transparency, provided you follow up on it diligently. Being structured also allows for making well thought-through modifications to your plan if things should not go smoothly. Suffering adverse effects is, in itself, a destabilizing experience. The less panic-driven and better informed your subsequent actions and decisions are, the more likely you are to get back on track and prevent a full blown crisis from developing.

At this point, I would like to remind you always to remain process-oriented, rather than goal-oriented. Diminishing psychiatric drug intake is not about reaching the lowest dose possible in the shortest amount of time possible. Your success in this area is not defined by numbers. Drug withdrawal is not a sport. It is a process, which in turn will be accompanied by further processes regarding your overall health, your attitude towards life, your relationships with others, and your personal development. All those processes and gradual shifts are what you are after. Do not attempt to force spectacular changes. Instead, care for yourself and intend to remain grounded enough to weather your everyday life. If, at some point, looking back you can say you are feeling better about yourself than a while ago, you are headed in the right direction. Let every step forward and every choice be the natural result of your inner development and a subtle stimulus for further growth. Do what you can, but never try to find out where your breaking point is by challenging yourself to your limits. Do not hurry. Keep in mind it is better to walk calmly and securely than risking to stumble, fall and having to pick yourself back up all over again. Take all the measures you can to stay at peace. Protect yourself, nourish yourself.

Funnily, at present I am reading a book about writing and just came across a sentence I wish to quote here: “We´ll see progress in time. But we can´t expect to every day.” (Louise De Salvo, The Art of Slow Writing). In other words: do not drive yourself bonkers with undue pressure, nor let anyone else do so. As long as you are honestly working towards your health and your life´s improvement, you are doing well. Or, regurgitating a quote De Salvo took from Stephen King, describing his return to writing after a devastating accident which forced him to undergo long and painstaking rehabilitation: it all is about “[…] getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, ok? Getting happy.” King was referring to his writing, but really these words describe the essence of healing. Take note, in particular, of how King uses the verb “getting”, which clearly denotes process. PROCESS! This is what you are looking for. Getting healthier and, why not, happier!

How it´s going – Completion of phase three

Hello Everyone!

I am now taking half of my original dose on both medications. So now I am on 75mg of Sertraline and 150mg of Quetiapine. There have been no unfavorable reactions to the dose reduction whatsoever. Again, I have to stress that I do not simply switch to a smaller amount of any of my medications from one day to the next. Every decrease in dose takes me about three weeks to complete. Also, I never modify the dose of both medications simultaneously, but do it one after another. This adds up to a total of six weeks for the change to be complete. I always start with the antidepressant, and finish with the anti-psychotic.

Given that I am feeling so well, I have decided to continue dose reduction throughout the month of December. I will take the Sertraline down to 50mg. In January, I will be travelling abroad, which is why I intend to wait with the further reduction of the Quetiapine dose until after the trip. I should point out that we will be visiting my partner´s family, and that I have made this same trip twice before. In other words: we will not be exposed to exotic stimuli and strange locations, but rather be welcomed into some sort of home from home. I find this important to mention because dose reductions are safest when there is no stressful situations or emotional turmoil ahead. Of course, these can come up unexpectedly at any moment and even in the middle of a dose reduction, but why deliberately risk any instability in the face of anticipated psychological pressure?

Once I am down to 50mg of Sertraline and 100mg of Quetiapine, which corresponds to one third of the original dose, I will not make any further changes for at least half a year. Frankly, I have not even clarified for myself if I should ever be completely medication free. The habit of popping those pills every morning and evening has become so strong and reassuring that the idea of not having them as a safety-net gives me vertigo. Knowing myself, I might be able to overcome that fear once I am getting closer to the right moment, but I am more of the one-step-at-the-time type, so for now I will be dealing with the next dose reduction and nothing beyond that. This tactic has worked fine for me until now, and not just regarding my medications but also other matters in life, so I shall stick to it.

I will keep you updated.


How It’s Going – Completion of Phase Two

I am now permanently on 200 mg of Quetiapine (Seroquel) and 100 mg of Sertraline (Zoloft), which means I am concluding phase two of my withdrawal plan. According to this schedule, as I had originally laid it out, I am supposed to stabilize these doses over the course of two to three months. However, given that I am experiencing no withdrawal symptoms or other anomalies at all, I might reconsider the duration of the stabilization period and possibly reduce it to somewhere between one and two months.

My current doses correspond to a 30% reduction of the amount I was prescribed when I first started taking my medications. I believe my organism is already perceiving some degree of relief. My overall well-being has been improving, certainly also thanks to a healthy diet and regular exercise. Mentally and emotionally, I feel perfectly functional and healthy. My partner is a great source of support, and I know I can trust him to report any unusual observations to me.

I am also pleased to see how each prescription of a hundred coated tablets now lasts one month longer than it used to. The medication supply that was meant to be good for three months is now sufficient for four. One could say I am 30% less stressed about getting my new prescription.

As for this blog, it has been slowly, but steadily, attracting more readers. My hope is for them to find useful or at least interesting information on its pages, be it for themselves or in order to help loved ones. I want to stress once more that your comments, questions and suggestions are more than welcome. Reader’s contributions make this kind of blog so much richer and so much more helpful. Feel encouraged to send me your thoughts and experiences – they will all be considered and responded to.

How It’s Going – Completion of Phase One

Yesterday night was, hopefully, the last time I ever took the old dose of Quetiapine, 300 mg. So from today onward I will be taking 250 mg of Quetiapine at night and 125 mg of Sertraline in the morning. If you have a look at my dose reduction plan, you will see that I originally planned to stay in this place for a while. However, as I have had no withdrawal symptoms or other adverse reactions to the dose reduction so far, I feel I should move on to the next dose reduction sooner. Thus, I shall begin lowering the Sertraline dose further next week, in the same way I have already done it once. This modification is to be followed by another dose reduction of the Quetiapine. My next aim is to reach a plateau phase with 200 mg of Quetiapine and 100 mg of Sertraline. This corresponds to a 30% reduction of the original dosages, which I find to be quite a significant change. Once I get there, I still plan to remain there for at least a few months.

The question now is whether I have noticed any changes so far. As for negative ones, luckily not! On the positive side, I do feel slightly more alert in the sense that I make faster decisions, seem to have an improved concentration and feel more open towards learning new things. A lot of this, admittedly, has to do with my recent changes in lifestyle and the accompanying shifts in priorities. Logically, I have some restructuring and decluttering to do. Nonetheless, I feel that I am mentally and emotionally better disposed to pull through with these reconfigurations. Lowering the dose of my medications may be contributing to that.

Physically, there have been slight improvements as well, although these most likely have to be attributed to factors other than medication withdrawal. My weight has been going down very gradually, which is probably mostly a consequence of my doing daily yoga routines and eating a low-carb diet complemented with veggie shakes. I have a very sweet tooth, but lately I have managed to steer clear of too much self-indulgence in this area. My partner and I have agreed we can be naughty – in culinary terms – every once in a while on special occasions, but certainly not on a daily or even weekly basis. Our naughtiness in other areas seems to be improving. Our relationship is thriving, yet it is impossible for me to say whether lower medication doses have anything to do with that. I suppose, and hope, that we are simply doing things right.

Lately, my sleep is less plagued by nightmares. I used to have them every night, and they were intense enough to have me wake up screaming every so often. Since I have moved in with my man, this has not happened again, although most of my dreams are still weird and unsettling. They very evidently deal with traumatic experiences as well as the fears and conflicts derived from those. As a result, my dreams are quite repetitive in topic, which makes me assume I have a considerable quantity of psychological knots to untie if I want to get rid of them. Several sources on psychiatric drug withdrawal explain that as you lower doses, emotions and thoughts may resurface that had been lingering under the surface of your drug induced stability. To me, that makes perfect sense, as the drugs do seem to suspend you from hammering away desperately at your worst conflicts. So, as a consequence of medication withdrawal, I expect some serious processing and coping challenges to lie before me. At this point in time, such challenges have not occurred to an extent that would make me consider seeing a psychotherapist. My partner is a great source of support, encouragement, comprehension and love. The list of his wonderful characteristics could go on and on. My close friends are caring and sincere. In other words, I have a support network that wants for nothing. Thanks so much for that!

All in all, I am happy about how everything is going. My initial fear of lowering medication doses has receded. I am still very careful and slightly apprehensive about the process, but so far I have felt motivated to think that as long as I proceed in a sensible way, I should be able to minimize risks. I am glad I have started this process.

The (Scary) First Step – Test Dose Reduction

The time has come! From tomorrow onwards, I will be taking a slightly reduced dose of my SSRI antidepressant. I will go from 150mg of Sertraline in the morning to 137,5mg for a week or two. This corresponds to a reduction of slightly less than 9%. Various sources recommend not to start with dose changes any greater than 10%. Therefore, although my next short term goal is to reduce my dose of Sertraline to 125mg, I will be going there through an intermediate step that will function as a test period at the same time. Both I and those closest to me will be monitoring my response – or the absence thereof – to this initial dose modification.


My new toy – a “deluxe” (of course, I’m posh) pill cutter.

Now, how do I go about the dose reduction technically? I have 100mg and 50mg Sertraline tablets. They are of an oblong shape and dented in their middle in order to make halving them easier. But if I wish to try 137,5mg for a while, I will need to quarter the 50mg tablets. Even with my pill-cutter, that will hardly be possible. Reading through Dr. Peter Breggin’s book Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal (see sources), I found an easy enough solution to this problem. Breggin describes several drug withdrawals he was helping his patients with, and especially with very small dose modifications it was sometimes necessary to be inventive. This is what I’ve learned:


  • If a pill cutter won’t do the job, you can find out if your medications are available in liquid form as well. If they are, you can control your doses drop by drop.
  • Some drugs come in capsules filled with tiny pellets. Same as with drops, this gives you the possibility to make very gradual changes by removing some of the pellets from the capsule.

But careful: your mathematics must be very precise for both the drop-by-drop method and the pellet removal strategy. You need to figure out how much of the active ingredient is in a drop or in a pellet. If you are taking generics, you also need to make sure you are always using the same manufacturer, as concentrations and excipients may vary from brand to brand. And needless to mention, if you have trouble concentrating due to cognitive impairment caused by either your condition or your medication, you need to put an extra effort in getting your doses right. In the latter case, you may keep lists or put up sticky notes to remind you of how to proceed. If you live with someone who is willing to support you, you can also ask them to double check if you are handling your medication correctly and according to plan.

  • Given that I haven’t got hold of either Sertraline drops or capsules, I decided on another dose reduction method mentioned by Dr. Peter Breggin. I will be taking 125mg instead of 150mg every other day, simply by halving the 50mg Sertraline pill with the pill cutter and taking it together with the 100mg pill. Over time, the alternating doses of 125mg and 150mg will result in an overall dose reduction of 12,5mg.

If I tolerate this initial step well, I will proceed to definitely reducing my Sertraline dose to 125 mg. I am quite optimistic it will work because of experiences I have had with involuntary – alright, neglectful – dose reductions. For varying reasons, I have skipped taking my Sertraline altogether a number of times. Normally, I am rather disciplined and take the antidepressant immediately after getting out of bed and brushing my teeth in the morning. However, if a day is particularly eventful or something unexpected gets in between my waking up and my going to the bathroom, I run a slight risk of forgetting my Sertraline. The first few times it happened to me, I was extremely worried the omission was going to cause weird withdrawal symptoms or render me useless temporarily, but none of it was the case. My suspicion is that having used the same amount of Sertraline for about four years now, there might already be a certain concentration in my blood that keeps me stable even if I forget one pill every once in a while. This is just my personal hypothesis. Right now, I can name no sources to back it up scientifically. Also, so far I have never skipped more than one dose. Hence I don’t know how I would react to a permanent, if small, dose reduction. Still, for the above reasons, I am confident it should be no problem.

I will keep you updated on how things are going in my “withdrawal diary” section.