Some words on: Splitting the atom with pill-cutters and patience

Logically, as I move on to lower doses of medication, also the adjustments on the way to the next smaller dose need to become finer. Pill-cutters work great when it comes to halving tablets, or even splitting sufficiently large, round tablets into quarters. But unless you can get hold of low-dosage pills, the utility of this gadget has its limits. More often than not, my attempting to cut pills into exact portions smaller than one half, has resulted in me plucking minute white crumbs out of the pill-cutter and piecing them together to approximately one day´s dose. Some pills simply resist being cut precisely. To avoid such hassle, I prefer using my pill-cutter in combination with a method of spacing out the intake of the old, higher dose in favor of the next lower one. The underlying idea is to gradually diminish the average amount of the respective substance in my organism until reaching the following lower target dose. Here is an example of how I have been doing it:

graphic sertraline withdrawal

I came across this procedure in Dr. Peter Breggin´s book Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal, and have mentioned it briefly in an earlier post on this blog as well. The graphic above does not reflect the exact way Dr. Breggin helps his patients decrease their drug intake, but it is an adaptation of his idea to my own circumstances. Another way of doing it by blocking high and lower doses according to a weekly plan would be to take the new dose on one day of the first week, two following days of the second week, three following days of the third week, and so on. It could look something like this – red spaces represent the old, higher dose of a drug and blue spaces the new, lower one:

suggestion weekly withdrawal plan

As you can see, the concept is flexible. You or your doctor may come up with other variations, even shortening or lengthening the duration of each step in your withdrawal process according to your own needs. In addition, I have to point out, once again, that I am not a professional in the medical field. This blog documents my individual way of handling medication withdrawal, but I am in no way qualified to give anyone else instruction in this matter. My hope and purpose is to encourage you to acquire the means and the support you need to improve your health. If you believe the method of psychiatric drug withdrawal I am describing in this article might also be helpful in your case or for someone you know, please seek further information with professionals and consult relevant literature. I am sorry if I am repeating myself with this sort of disclaimer, but I truly do not wish for anyone to get hurt in the execution of domestic experiments with psychoactive substances.

Up to now, I have been faring well using this method of dose reduction. All that is necessary is to keep track of where you are at in your plan – and to have your plan for each dose reduction written out for your reference. Personally, I keep a handwritten list of days and corresponding dosages, and tick off day by day. This way, each decrease in dosage takes me around five to six weeks. After completing the change, I wait for another couple of weeks before I make any modifications to my intake of the other drug I am using. Thereby, I hope to make sure each alteration of my medication plan is well under control in that I can recognize any adverse reactions and, most importantly, relate them directly to specific changes I have made. In order to take psychiatric medications, and also in order to wean off them safely, it is vital to notice the effects using them – or ceasing to use them – has on you. When you experience negative side-effects or withdrawal symptoms, you need to find out what caused them. A clear-cut medication and withdrawal plan helps generate such transparency, provided you follow up on it diligently. Being structured also allows for making well thought-through modifications to your plan if things should not go smoothly. Suffering adverse effects is, in itself, a destabilizing experience. The less panic-driven and better informed your subsequent actions and decisions are, the more likely you are to get back on track and prevent a full blown crisis from developing.

At this point, I would like to remind you always to remain process-oriented, rather than goal-oriented. Diminishing psychiatric drug intake is not about reaching the lowest dose possible in the shortest amount of time possible. Your success in this area is not defined by numbers. Drug withdrawal is not a sport. It is a process, which in turn will be accompanied by further processes regarding your overall health, your attitude towards life, your relationships with others, and your personal development. All those processes and gradual shifts are what you are after. Do not attempt to force spectacular changes. Instead, care for yourself and intend to remain grounded enough to weather your everyday life. If, at some point, looking back you can say you are feeling better about yourself than a while ago, you are headed in the right direction. Let every step forward and every choice be the natural result of your inner development and a subtle stimulus for further growth. Do what you can, but never try to find out where your breaking point is by challenging yourself to your limits. Do not hurry. Keep in mind it is better to walk calmly and securely than risking to stumble, fall and having to pick yourself back up all over again. Take all the measures you can to stay at peace. Protect yourself, nourish yourself.

Funnily, at present I am reading a book about writing and just came across a sentence I wish to quote here: “We´ll see progress in time. But we can´t expect to every day.” (Louise De Salvo, The Art of Slow Writing). In other words: do not drive yourself bonkers with undue pressure, nor let anyone else do so. As long as you are honestly working towards your health and your life´s improvement, you are doing well. Or, regurgitating a quote De Salvo took from Stephen King, describing his return to writing after a devastating accident which forced him to undergo long and painstaking rehabilitation: it all is about “[…] getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, ok? Getting happy.” King was referring to his writing, but really these words describe the essence of healing. Take note, in particular, of how King uses the verb “getting”, which clearly denotes process. PROCESS! This is what you are looking for. Getting healthier and, why not, happier!

Finally, Moving On

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Hello Back.

I have kept this blog dormant for quite a while now, which I really feel lousy about. Luckily for me, it has been for all the right reasons. My life has changed considerably and kept me very busy.

After bringing a shitty contract with an abusive employer to a necessary end and having worked three jobs at the time throughout the month of June to bridge the gap, I am now very content with my new placement. Knock on wood, may it continue to go as well as it has begun.

Another source of stress is the disappearance of three of our pets, probably at the hands of a sociopath neighbor who had actually menaced us with “doing something” to them. We would love to denounce him, but unfortunately we have neither proof nor witnesses other than ourselves. Not knowing what happened to your little friends, nor where they are and how they are doing, weighs heavily on the heart. So does the inability to do anything about it.

Close friends have moved out of the country, but I hope to keep up contact with them – after all, this is the age of the internet! Hopefully, my partner and I will be able to visit them at some point. I do miss them.

I have even “survived” a reunion with close relatives without the feared psychological breakdown and without seeing anyone, including myself, resort to the dysfunctional patterns of behavior that have spoiled family meetings in the past.

My beautiful partner has supported me through all the changes and his part in everything having come out so positively is major.

I still have nasty nightmares on most nights. It had become better for a while, but they have returned. My subconscious keeps bringing up topics it wants to process and apparently fails at it, making another attempt the next night, and so on. In spite of this, I seem to get enough rest. I am productive at work and creative in my spare time, and enjoying both. My cognitive performance and concentration levels are fine.

A big setback, though, is that I am pretty much back to my original weight. It’s not like I have been binge-eating or anything. It has just come back on. Seven pounds lost, seven pounds gained. At least I am not heavier than I used to be. Still, I am frustrated at how I look. I have always had issues with certain body parts, as most people do, but these weak spots seem especially annoying now that I am not in my best possible shape. Back to square one! I’ll have to devise a good workout-plan.

Since my last post, I have not made any new modifications to my medication regimen. I decided that too much was going on to risk any additional instability. Today I’ve begun to lower my Sertraline dose. I have been taking 100 mg in the mornings for a few months, which is 30% less than the original dose. My next aim is to go down to 75 mg, which would be half of the original amount. Once this is achieved, I will follow up with the Quetiapine. I am confident it will work out. However, my partner will have a watchful eye on me and tell me if I act even weirder than I normally do.

I’ll be in touch.

Felicia

 

 

Some Words on: Generics

There is still no end in sight to the debate on whether generic drugs are – or are not – an equivalent substitute for the original brands. Generics use the same active ingredients as the originally patented drugs, yet a large party of both physicians and patients claim they do not work in the same way. And in fact, there can be slight chemical differences between original and generic drugs. Every medication, psychiatric or not, contains substances that are not meant to have any effect on the consumer, but have other functions, such as helping the absorption of the active ingredients into the organism or binding them so the tablet does not crumble. These compounds are called excipients. This is where variation can occur. Some generic drugs may not use the same excipients as their original counterpart, or the ration between active ingredients and excipients can be different. However, this does not necessarily mean generics are any worse, or that their users unavoidably will experience negative effects they would not be suffering taking the original drugs.

It is hard to pick a side in the controversy, especially when you are a user of psychiatric drugs or know people who are. Obviously, you will be inclined to project your personal experiences into your argument. At the same time, being personally involved can give you a more hands-on approach to the matter and look at it without getting caught up in the technical details of medical studies and statistics, and without being influenced by professional links to the pharmaceutical industry or second-hand-anecdotes from colleagues in the medical field. This perspective is the one I am going to expose. I am not a health care professional, but I have been taking psychiatric drugs for slightly over four years, with an unknown amount of time still to follow. Moreover, some people who are very close to me have used them in the past or are still doing so, and I have seen psychiatric drugs in action on fellow patients in psychiatric hospitals. One thing I can say in advance – I have no clear-cut answer to the question if generics are as effective as the originally patented drugs. There is a huge number of companies producing generics, in different countries, under different safety standards, with differing levels of work ethics. Evidently, the aspect of safety is an important one, if not the most important one. Are generics as safe as original brands? Also this I cannot say. But then again, it is doubtful whether taking psychiatric medications in and of itself can ever be safe. The knowledge we have about possible side-effects and our ignorance of long-term effects on the human brain speak for themselves. If you must take psychiatric drugs, my first and best recommendation is to be careful about where you get them from. Further on I will go into more detail about this point. First, let me describe my personal experiences with generic drugs.

Pretty soon after starting on Seroquel and Zoloft, my physician switched to prescribing generic versions of the substances Quetiapine and Sertraline. Every three months, when I needed a new prescription, I would receive a generic by a different company, produced in another country. So far, I have never noticed any adverse effects, although I always feel wary about experimenting with my mental health. My level of trust in a generic is based – rightfully so or not – on where and by whom it was produced. All the generics I have used so far came from European countries, and they are available through the public health care system I am ensured in. All this certainly does not guarantee their effectiveness or safety, especially not considering that every individual potentially responds in unforeseeable ways even to minute changes in their medication plans. Still, I assume that the generics I am using must be safer than the ones you can acquire through the internet yourself. For those who want it, self-medicating is made relatively easy and also relatively cheap in financial terms. You can order psychiatric medications from India, for example, just as you can walk into a corner shop to buy candies. This is not to speak badly of any country, but I do believe one should be critical of online drug-discounters. As convenient as they may seem, their informality is also a risk to their customers. Within my close personal contacts is a tragic case of fatal medication abuse, greatly enabled by online drug commerce.

But even the safety of generic drugs that are approved by the health care system depends on how the individual using them reacts. A friend of mine tried a generic version of her antidepressant, for which she did have a prescription, and almost immediately experienced obsessive and profoundly unsettling thoughts. These disappeared almost overnight when she returned to the original brand. Did this incident occur because my friend had fallen prey to a low-quality generic or because her organism was very sensitive to changes? Hard to say. I cannot overemphasize how radically different people’s reactions to psychiatric medications can be. All you have to do to find out is log into one of the numerous forums on the topic. Drugs that are described as “zombifiers” by some are hailed as life-savers by others. Quetiapine and Sertraline, the substances I am currently taking, are no exceptions. I am doing fine on them, but I have read desperate posts on how they turn individuals suicidal, manic, emotionally numb, paranoid, and so on. The ugly truth is that psychiatric drugs – generics just as much as originals – are a Pandora’s Box. There is no way of knowing beforehand what exactly will result from using them.

And then, there are the many cases of people using original brands which either do not alleviate the symptoms of psychiatric illness or do so at the terrible price of disabling and humiliating side-effects. Defenders of original psychiatric drugs will argue they were patented and released onto the market only after a lengthy and thorough process of testing, and that therefore they are safe to use. This statement, unfortunately, is not accurate. Although a psychiatric drug can only make it into the pharmacies after having been institutionally approved, several incognitae remain. The biggest one probably is what the drug actually does to the brain, apart from potentially diminishing certain symptoms of mental illness. So far for example, no published study has explored the sequels of long-term psychiatric drug use. Typically, drugs are tested over the duration of several weeks or a few months, when numerous users are really taking them for years on end or even for life, in varying dosages and combinations. It is also unknown, and feared, what psychiatric drugs could do to a young brain in plain development. Children or teenagers being medicated has become common practice. Detractors object this might slow down or even stunt their cognitive, emotional and social growth and thereby cripple their lives before they have even begun. Last, but not least, it has to be remembered that the array of possible negative effects, also called side-effects, is virtually endless, some of them being extremely dangerous or horrifying at best.

On a theoretic level, considering the safety of psychiatric medications is debatable in the first place, I feel compelled to wonder if questioning the quality of generics makes any sense at all. From a practical perspective, I have seen evidence for their safety in myself and for their unsafety in others. My recommendation to you is to handle psychiatric drugs in general with utter care. I wish I could be more concise.

Here is a brief list of aspects you can take into account in order to protect yourself from unpleasant experiences or more serious dangers:

Means of acquisition – Only use psychiatric drugs you have obtained through prescriptions. Do not shop for them on the internet.

Ingredients – Make sure you are not allergic to any of the ingredients. For example, lactose is a common excipient. If you are lactose intolerant, you will need to find out which companies offer the same active ingredient with a different excipient.

Country of origin – Make sure your medication was produced in a country you find trustworthy in terms of quality standards. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to find out if they really live up to your expectations.

Follow your doctor’s indications – Be observant of the doses and times your doctor established in your medication plan.

No spontaneous dose variations – Do not make any changes to your medication plan unless they have been systematically planned. For example, do not take more of your antidepressant when you feel down, or less of it because you are having an especially nice day.

Monitor your reactions at all times – Always watch out for any adverse reactions your medications may be causing. Constantly keep an eye on your general well-being. Also evaluate your performance at work or at school, your memory, your social capabilities and your emotional reactions to everyday situations. Have people you trust help you monitor all these aspects.

When Meds Get in The Way

Life is full of little things we take for granted to such a degree that we don’t even ever think of them – until they’re gone. When you begin taking psychiatric drugs, an unexpected plethora of such details opens up before you. What you once considered pleasant, but petty aspects of everyday life suddenly are luxuries you will have to do without, or cut down on, from now onward. You will need to revise and likely modify several of your habits in order to stay safe, and you may feel restricted in your personal freedom. To put it in plain English: you will be forced to redefine the terms “fun” and “freedom” for yourself, at least partially. I know how off-putting this sounds, but the good news is that it is possible as long as you keep an open mind. The following is a list of everyday luxuries I have had to reevaluate since getting on psychiatric medication.

Luxury #1: Booze

Officially, you are not supposed to consume any alcohol while you are taking psychoactive medications. Booze may alter the way your organism assimilates the active ingredients, and it also acts as a depressant. So, if you are already suffering from depression, regular pub-crawling is a no-no. Now, alcohol is an almost ubiquitous substance. What is more, we humans use it as a vehicle for social bonding. Drinking with others is not just about tickling our taste buds and our nervous system, but it is a social ritual. No matter if we are with friends, family or business partners: sharing a drink equals declaring you are on the same page with them, and on friendly terms. As alcohol is known to lower inhibitions, it also serves to break down barriers between people. As a consequence, being offered one or the other alcoholic beverage on all sorts of occasions is virtually unavoidable. Depending on your psychological equilibrium, you may have to reject those offers altogether. Personally, I have found I can have a few glasses of wine or juice with a shot of rum without experiencing any negative effects. As I have never been a heavy drinker, needing to set limits to my alcohol consumption has not been a big issue for me. Essentially, I am having the same amounts as always, only that when I first started taking psychiatric medication I had none at all for a few months and then carefully started experimenting with half a glass here or one shot there, until I felt certain it was doing no harm to me. However, if you are a customary drinker, you will need to become more self-disciplined.

Luxury #2: Caffeine

If you have ever been hospitalized in a psychiatric clinic, you may have noticed they offer decaffeinated coffee or decaf teas to their patients. Needless to say, caffeine is a stimulant. Depending on your diagnosis and your medication regime, you may have to say goodbye to your cuppa or at least reduce your intake. For someone with anxiety or mania, stimulants are not an option. In my particular case, I have found that coffee and tea do not affect me negatively, so I continue having them just as always during the first half of the day. I avoid caffeine after 5 pm, though, and given that I dislike most sodas, I never have coca cola or the likes. I also stay away from energy drinks or any other stimulants stronger than my habitual cup of coffee. Evaluate carefully, if possible together with your therapist or prescribing doctor, if sticking to your caffeinated drinks is alright for you. Try one cup of mild coffee in the morning and observe how you react both during the day and at bedtime, then make a decision based on what you experienced.

Luxury #3: Sugar and carbohydrates

In another article on this blog, I had written about weight gain as a negative effect of psychiatric drugs. Unfortunately, to limit the damage, you should reduce your intake of processed carbs and sugars significantly. Truth be told, if you are interested in healthy nutrition you ought to do so anyways. If you are on medication, avoiding processed foods becomes imperative. Eliminate them from your daily diet. Maybe allow yourself one eat-what-you-want day per week in order to keep cravings at bay. As I have a very sweet tooth, abstinence in this area is tough for me. However, I have found it extremely helpful that my partner and I have both decided to go low carb. In our fridge and around the kitchen, you will find no chocolate, no cookies, no cakes, not even white bread. If I ever felt like being “naughty” I would have to go all the way to the next grocery store, pick something out and stand in line for it, which makes breaking the rules a lot less tempting. Also, once you get the knack of maintaining a low carb and low sugar diet and explore some new recipes, your cravings for processed foods will diminish over time. As of today, I hardly experience any unruly longings and enjoy otherwise forbidden treats all the more when I come across them at parties or other special occasions.

Luxury #4: Foods you had never thought of as dangerous

If point #3 has motivated you to switch from drinking sodas to enjoying natural fruit juices, and you are sipping from a glass of refreshing grapefruit juice as you are reading this paragraph – stop! Grapefruit juice interacts with numerous medications because it alters the way your liver processes them. Interestingly, this fact does not appear on the label of juice packages, so you need to find out through research on the internet or consultation with a pharmacist. There are other natural foods under suspicion of interacting with certain medications: pomegranate is one of them, though studies haven’t yet confirmed how much it really interacts with medication. Some herbal medicines, such as Saint John’s worth and Valerian, potentially exacerbate or weaken the effect of psychiatric drugs. The same goes for some supplements. The following are links to pages with further information about drug-food interactions.

Free PDF on drug and food interactions for downloading by the FDA: http://www.fda.gov/downloads/drugs/resourcesforyou/consumers/buyingusingmedicinesafely/ensuringsafeuseofmedicine/generaluseofmedicine/ucm229033.pdf

Article by the Academy of Nutrition And Dietetics: http://www.eatright.org/Public/content.aspx?id=6442477646

Again, none of this means you necessarily have to avoid these foods and beverages completely, but you need to be moderate in the amounts you consume and extremely attentive about possible negative effects.

Luxury #5: Spontaneous sleepovers or travelling

Before I say anything else: ALWAYS carry one or two extra doses of medication with you! It is rare to be unexpectedly confronted with the option of spending a night away from home or prolonging a trip for an extra day. Yet, in good theory, it can happen. Your flight may have been delayed or cancelled, you are too tired to drive home after a get-together or weather conditions are too bad to get on the road, or you simply wish to stay somewhere nice for a bit longer. All those situations can turn into a problem if you don’t have enough medication with you. Therefore, make sure to take an emergency backup wherever you go – near or far. The longer your trip, the larger your extra supply should be. On a normal work day I will carry a tiny pillbox with one spare dose in my purse. When I go on longer trips, I habitually put enough medications for an extra week in my luggage, and I also keep them in different bags in case one of them gets lost or stolen. Once we’re at it: also record your medication plan – names of substances, doses and schedule – in your agenda or on a piece of paper to keep in your wallet. Accidents happen, and the medical team scraping you up from the street must know about your using psychiatric drugs. Don’t forget to add other basic information, such as your blood type or any chronic conditions and allergies you have.

Luxury #6: Over the counter meds

Have a headache? Before you head to the pharmacy for some Aspirin, make sure you can actually take it. Many over-the-counter drugs interact with psychiatric medications, which can turn a vulgar flu into an adventurous slalom around dozens of red flags. For more information, go to my article on drug interactions.

Luxury #7: Sunbathing

This is an issue I luckily escaped. Some medications, including the ones I am taking, potentially render you more sensitive towards UV radiation. Depending on your individual case, you may need to apply sunscreen to your skin before leaving the house or quit sunbathing and tanning sessions. As I said, my tolerance – and love – towards sunlight is unaltered, but I advise you to monitor your response to it for as long as you are on medications.

Luxury #8: Overall independence

By overall independence I mean the ability to adapt to your surrounding circumstances without having to worry about where you get your medications from. It is only a few exceptional situations that would really challenge your flexibility in this regard: wars, cataclysmic natural events such as floods, hurricanes or earthquakes, social upheaval or economic collapse. Even though these events are not the most likely to occur, they are an inconvenient possibility. When your well-being hinges on the availability of any type of medical treatment, you realize how dependent you are on civilization, the integrity of your society and a functioning infrastructure. You cannot simply revert to an ancestral lifestyle or an existence of scarcity the way most others could – if grudgingly. Unfortunately, I have not yet come up with a way of getting around this problem. Probably, precaution is the best protection from shortages in supplies. Just as it is wise to keep a few gallons of drinking water and some emergency lanterns or candles in your house, also have a backup of your medications. In addition, stock up on your drugs in time. Do not leave picking up your prescription for last minute, but create  a safety margin of maybe a few weeks.

Luxury #9: Hardcore partying

For some, parties aren’t over before daylight. However, if your medication plan includes taking a sedative or tranquilizing drug in the evening, you may have to retire from power-partying and clubbing. Even if you can force yourself to stay awake, you may not be in condition to leave the house or, let alone, drive anywhere. And much less will you be able to enjoy the party. My longest night is usually New Year’s Eve, and even then I hardly make it beyond 2 or 3 am. I take my anti-psychotic at that time and then sleep in the next morning. On all other occasions, I am in bed before or roughly around midnight. Before you give in to feelings of rebellion, take into account that altering your sleep cycle also implies tampering with the regularity of your medication plan, which in turn can affect your psychological stability and performance at everyday activities. Ask yourself if it is worth it.

Luxury #10: Recreational drugs

I have never used any recreational drugs, but now that I am on psychoactive medications I also should not consider trying them. They interfere with your mental functions just as psychiatric medication does, which means all sorts of unforeseeable interactions are possible. Some recreational drugs are actually believed to trigger psychosis. Stay away from them if you can. I have met people who continued using recreational drugs, mostly marijuana, despite taking psychiatric medications, and who were claiming it was not harming them. Yet, in my opinion it is preferable to play it safe. Mental health is one of our most valuable goods! Should you be addicted to street drugs, please consult with your prescribing doctor and/or therapist before making any decisions. Special considerations need to be taken to handle your case.

These were the luxuries I could come up with based on my personal experience with psychiatric medication. If you can think of more aspects of everyday life that turn into luxuries when you are in treatment, please leave a comment.

Some Words on: Nightmares and Restless Sleep on Psychiatric Medication

As for all states of distress, APA also has a fancy name for nightmares: nightmare disorder or dream anxiety disorder. It is known that everybody has nightmares from time to time. They are believed to be caused by our mind trying to process conflicts, fears and stressful life events. In other words: nightmares are a healthy and necessary phenomenon that helps us deal with our issues and move on. Yet, when unsettling dreams become so frequent and so intense that they disrupt our sleep patterns and affect our mental and emotional balance during the day, they no longer help us to cope, but they add to our problems. Not only do nightmares leave an ugly aftertaste and cloud our mood. Deprivation of restful sleep can exacerbate already existent psychoses. Sleep, and in particular restful sleep, are a vital component of mental health.

Although it is meant to improve symptoms of mental illness, psychoactive medication commonly causes sleep disturbances, including nightmare disorder. In general, psychotropic drugs will affect your sleep cycles in one or the other way, for whatever acts upon your mental functions during your waking hours, logically also does so when you are asleep. Both my antidepressant (Sertraline) and my anti-psychotic (Quetiapine) list nightmares as a frequent side-effect, along with other sleep abnormalities, such as insomnia or excessive sleepiness. So far, I have gotten away with only the nightmares.

Ever since I got on psychoactive medication, I have had hardly one night without unsettling dreams, and this is not an exaggeration. The topics are nauseatingly repetitive. Being far from home at a place I perceive as threatening and fearing not to be able to leave, is a classic. Typically, in my dream I am anxious to leave that place before the onset of winter with its cold and darkness. A variation of this scenario is my having to travel to a threatening place. Luckily, my dream-Self has learned by now to just say “I am not going. I have a right to be where I feel safe and happy.”. Often, these dreams are coupled with scenes of confrontations between me and relatives whom I am also in conflict with in real life. Typically, they would attempt to tear down my self-confidence or force me into life choices I feel strongly opposed to. Before I moved in with my partner four months ago, I also used to dream I was living in a house that was crumbling. Cracks would appear in the walls, or big chunks of plaster would fall off them. In those dreams, it was understood that the structure could collapse and crush me any minute. I believe I can see clearly which fears all these nightmares spring from. My interpretation is that, after having seen my existence and my personal autonomy disintegrate during my psychotic break, my psyche is still fearful of it to possibly happen again. Over the last years, I have returned to a good life. In fact, I would say my life is now happier than it has ever been before. To me, it seems only logical that my not-so-subconscious is afraid of losing it all again.

Plane crashes are another frequent dream. I am actually afraid of flying, so the source of this scenario is also quite obvious. The origin of other nightmares is less evident. An interesting one is the vision of a cataclysmic volcanic eruption or simply a nearby active volcano that scares the crap out of me, but apparently out of nobody else. In my dreams, I regularly find myself in groups of enthusiastic people who absolutely want to climb up to the crater, while I am desperately trying to convince them not to. In reality, I do live in the proximity of three volcanoes, but I have never witnessed an eruption. I realize such an event is a possibility, but it is not something that occupies my conscious mind. So far in my life, I have scaled five volcanoes and slept at the foot of another three without being overly concerned about it.

A few posts ago, I had already mentioned that I am beginning to have less intense nightmares than has been usual for me over the last four years. And finally, last week, I got a break from my nightly horror-marathon. I actually dreamt something pleasant! I will abstain from going into details, but the sweet afterglow of that dream stayed with me throughout the day. It has been a while since this last happened to me. I am quite delighted! Placing the dream in the context of my current life situation, I have to assume a huge part of the improvement is certainly due to my moving into a new, lovely home with my partner and us both making healthy changes to our lifestyle. And although I have only just started to wean off my medications, I also hope the reduction of my medication dose to have something to do with the improved quality of my sleep. Could it be that my brain was too numbed down to process topics of conflict and therefore brought them up again and again through my dreams, similar to a broken record that can’t get past a certain content, but replays it in an endless loop? Could the dose reduction have begun to reactivate those parts of my psyche, allowing me to finally deal with and eventually overcome the unresolved issues? I cannot know for sure, but it is a hypothesis that I find logical.

Whether or not you consider weaning off your medications, you can – and should – attempt to improve the quality of your sleep. Actually, some speak of “sleep hygiene”. Taking measures of sleep hygiene is recommendable for everyone, even “healthy” individuals. The equation is simple: the more restful your sleep is, the better you feel all over – mentally and emotionally – and the better your cognitive functions are. If you are tormented by insomnia or by nightmares to a point that you perceive sleep as an unpleasant duty, try the following:

  • Establish regular sleeping habits. Try going to bed and getting up approximately at the same time every day, and allow yourself at least seven hours of rest. Even if your sleep gets interrupted during the night or you can’t fall asleep in the first place – stick to those seven hours and get out of bed at the established time. Eventually, your organism will recognize this resting period as its opportunity for distension and revitalization.
  • Create an optimal sleep environment in your bedroom. Make sure your mattress is comfortable and your pillows allow you to rest your head without straining your neck and upper back. Switch off all the lights and, if possible, do not keep any electronic devices in your bedroom. Use curtains or blinds which block street lights and the morning sun effectively. Try out if you prefer complete silence or soft noises like the gurgling of a small fountain or the regular ticking of a clock. Make sure temperatures in your bedroom are moderate. Neither excessive heat nor cold will help you sleep.
  • Avoid caffeinated beverages, stimulant medication or other energizing substances during the late afternoon and evening. Funnily, although alcohol can make you feel drowsy in the beginning, it is a major sleep disruptor because it messes with your sleep cycles. Same as for stimulating substances, take care not to have booze right before going to sleep. Personally, I know some people who actually have a cup of coffee or even espresso right before going to bed. They insist it helps them sleep. If you are one of that kind, fair enough, but probabilities are that you react to caffeine like most other mortals do – by staying wide awake. To be on the safe side, stay away from coffee and maybe have a glass of hot milk or soothing herbal infusion before going to sleep.
  • Just before going to bed, give yourself 30 minutes of time out. Spend them on a relaxing activity: meditation, reading, cuddling with your pet, chatting with your partner, watering your plants or just putting things in place around the house. Give yourself an opportunity for winding down and cleansing your mind and emotions at the end of every day. Studying for an exam or watching an action movie and then hitting the hay immediately is not a good idea. Just like a train can’t come to a dead halt, you need to gently let your mind come to rest.
  • Eat at least two hours before going to sleep. Going to bed with a full stomach is almost certain to make you toss and turn. If your schedule doesn’t allow for this, prepare a light snack rather than a full meal in the evening.
  • Exercise! Any type of workout, especially if performed several times a week, will not only help you burn off calories, but it will also improve your mood significantly. It is not necessary to do anything extreme or spectacular. Yoga and long walks are perfectly fin. Of course, if you wish to go for something more intense, feel free! Regular exercise will help you find a more restful sleep and balance your mood. Just remember that, if you exercise intensely in the evening, you need to come off your adrenaline rush before going to bed, so don’t hop right from the treadmill into bed. Maybe do a short yoga routine, have a nice warm shower or engage in some activity you find soothing.
  • Follow a healthy diet. Prefer whole, fresh foods to highly processed ones. Processed foods are typically rich in all the wrong things: sugar, fat, sodium, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, colorants. At the same time, they are almost devoid of vital nutrients and contain very little dietary fiber, which you need to cleanse your intestines. Thinking you can make up for your dietary deficiencies by taking supplements is a wrong assumption. Cover as many nutritional necessities as you can through your food intake. My partner and I, for example, are going low carb and mainly eating vegetables, lean meats, soy and dairy products. We have also developed the habit of drinking vegetable smoothies every morning. They taste great, and depending on which veggies and fruits you combine you can obtain different flavors, colors and nutritional benefits. We use kale as a main ingredient, and from there we just improvise according to what we have at home: spinach, strawberries, beets, celery, raspberries, carrots, apples, lettuce, and so on. Be creative, it’s your call to design your own liquid salad!

As you can see, there is a lot you can do for your sleep quality, even if you choose to stay on psychiatric medication for now. Try any or all of the above measures before asking your prescribing doctor for tranquilizers or sleeping pills. Adding medication to your treatment plan may seem like a quick fix. Yet, it only delays your getting to the root of your problems, compromises your liver and will make it even more difficult for you to ever wean off your medications. When you’re lost in the jungle, don’t add more trees. Consider taking further medication as the very last resort, or as an emergency solution to treat acute insomnia or psychosis temporarily.

Last, but not least, make sure you have the support of those living under the same roof with you. You can make your room as dark and as quiet as you like, but if your roommate insists on having noisy reunions or listening to loud music during the evenings, you will have a hard time finding sleep. Whoever you share your space with – family members, your partner, friends or fellow patients – explain to them why and how you wish to improve your sleeping habits. You might even be able to make them join in! Everybody needs restful sleep, and certainly everyone enjoys it. Personally, I find it extremely helpful that my partner and I are on the same page in terms of looking after our health. We share the same diet, do yoga together and follow the same sleeping schedule. Doing all of these things together is also a beautiful occasion for bonding. We research and discuss new food recipes, try out different yoga routines and have a small chat before going to sleep. Incorporating healthy habits into our lifestyle has been a wonderful contribution to a harmonious relationship and a happy home.

I would love for you share your own experiences with nightmares or other sleep disturbances, and with measures you have taken to overcome them. Feel free to comment. I will read through everything you send me and publish it here on my blog. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Some Words on: The Sickliness of Hospital Settings

“Hospitals make you sick”, said a person whom I met during my psychotic break, and whose kindness and understanding make me remember her as some sort of angel who came to shine a light into my darkest moments. She had picked the saying up from her father, and I was soon to find out what she meant by it. Evidently, the main purpose of hospitals is to cure people. Yet, some characteristics of hospital settings are surprisingly out of tune with that mission.

First of all, there is that smell. Even if you are just a visitor, it can turn your stomach inside out. Naturally, hospitals need to be kept clean at all times, and strong disinfectants are to help achieve that – but heck, can’t they develop one that doesn’t make the place smell as if a tsunami of cough syrup has just rolled through? There must be a way of eliminating those sick smells and introducing more pleasant ones. Smell can improve well-being significantly. Otherwise, perfumes or aromatherapy would never have been invented. It isn’t even a new concept. Human beings have used fragrances for thousands of years in the context of religious cults, all kinds of celebrations, in their homes or on their bodies. Essential oils, for example, have been a coveted luxury good for countless generations, and continue to be that. Only think of this: who doesn’t like to use incense sticks, aroma lamps or room fresheners to improve their mood? Who doesn’t keep one or the other perfume in their bathroom cabinet? Scents help us relax, energize, concentrate, and feel sexy; they can make a home feel warmer and a work environment more dynamic.

Remember that we experience life through our senses, including the sense of smell. The stimuli our senses convey to us are immediately interpreted by us as positive or negative, and therefore trigger different emotional reactions. It is all about associations. During our lives, we learn to associate smells with certain circumstances, events, rituals, places and memories. Cinnamon smells of a cozy day at home, sunscreen smells like a beach holiday, burned cookies smell of wasted effort, and hospitals… smell of sickness.

It is true that there is a lot of sickness accumulated in hospitals, so it seems only logical for it to be reflected in the general vibe of the place. Still, hospitals should also be places of healing, and healing can and should be stimulated through strengthening stimuli. Scent is just one of them. Let’s move on to hospital food. It is probably one of the poorest diets there can possibly be. When all the ingredients on your plate – the salad, the veggies and the meat – have the same color, gray, you know they don’t have much going on in terms of nutrients. Vegetables and proteins are usually boiled to death, and salads often consist of canned yellow beans and the likes. Desserts mostly seem to have been made out of some instant powder mixed up with water and typically come in sickly pastel colors. And let’s not even talk about flavors and textures. “Urgh” says it all.

Considering that science already knows how vital good nutrition is for our health, it seems insane how hospitals are still serving food that not only does not help patients to recover, but has the potential of making them even sicker because of its nutritional poorness. Even someone healthy needs a wide variety of vitamins, minerals, fats, and so on. Now imagine someone who has already lost their health and needs to regain it. This does not only go for physical illness, but also for mental pathologies. The brain functions thanks to elements our metabolism derives from what we consume. In every respect, hospital food should be absolute power-food, the very best stuff there is! The emphasis goes on the word “should”.

If you, or a loved one, are currently hospitalized, you may wish to complement the hospital diet with valuable snacks. Get fruit, or have fruit brought to you. Apples are a great choice. They are easily available and keep for a long time, even outside the refrigerator. There are, of course, bunches of other types of fruit, but none seems to be quite as practical as apples. Bananas, for example, are an excellent snack and very rich in dietary fiber, but their intense smell may bother your roommates. Also, they get squishy quite easily and attract fruit flies. Whichever fruits you decide to acquire, eat them instead of that awful, pale-yellow Jell-O with tiny beige chunks in it. Also, abstain from the mummified salad on your food tray. Alternatively, you can have a fresh cucumber cut in slices and with its peel still on. As a snack in the afternoon, you could enjoy carrot sticks dipped in peanut butter. All of these items – apples, cucumber and carrots – are relatively cheap, available all year round and do not need any preparation other than cutting them up. Also, drink a lot of pure water and squeeze half a lemon into it at least once a day. Whenever you have the choice between a soda and water or milk, choose any of the latter two. Avoid adding sugar to hot drinks. All these are small and easy hacks which help you improve your health.

Complementing the hospital diet with your own choices of fresh foods can also be an opportunity for social bonding with your fellow patients. During my last hospitalization, I was sharing a room with three other people. It was summer, so there was a lot of fruit on offer everywhere – cherries and plums from local farms, apples, imported peaches and so on. Spontaneously, some of us would go, buy a big bag of fruit and put it in a bowl on the table for everyone in the room to take. Other patients spontaneously formed salad initiatives. They would throw their money together and shop for ingredients for vegetable or fruit salads, prepare them together and share them among one another. All this does not sound like a big deal, but that little bit of human warmth and joyful interaction can make a huge difference for someone who has hit rock bottom. In this sense, bringing flowers to your room is also a small, but important boost for everyone’s psyche. And guess what, this is where smell comes into play again. The smell of flowers is always beautiful.

“Beautiful” is my cue for the next unfortunate aspect of hospital environments: visual ugliness. It must be acknowledged that, given the requirements of cleanliness and good illumination, the off-putting linoleum floors and ghostly light from uninspiring neon tubes are probably necessary evils. Still, a lot can and should be done to make hospitals look less cold and morgue-like. After all, it is in no-one’s interest to have patients slip even further into depression. Some clinics do make attempts to create a more mood-enhancing environment. Large windows, plants, colorful artwork and cozy sofas with coffee tables and magazines here and there go a long way. The access to green outside areas is another huge plus. Sometimes, all it takes to make someone feel less gloomy is to sit on the in the sunshine on a lawn or on a bench in the shade of a tree for a while – alone or with others.

And last but not least, hospital setting should offer ample opportunity both for socializing and for introversion and retreat. The last clinic I was in had generous outside areas with a park, benches and Ping-Pong tables, as well as an indoor sports court which was constantly open to patients who wished to organize volleyball matches or other activities. This was not a fancy private clinic – it was a public, if quite renowned, one. Admittedly, the place was guilty of giving out horrible food and committing several esthetic atrocities, but the overall intention was right. Another thing they did well was that the staff kept close contact with the patients. Not so much in a controlling way, but mainly by being available for communication and socialization. Patients would get to talk one-on-one with the treating doctors several times a week, and every morning both patients and staff would meet up to comment among one another on how everyone felt and on some randomly picked topic. Once every week the arts therapist would direct a huge cake bake-off, followed by a collective cake and coffee binge. On one occasion, as the weather was hot and sunny, all staff and patients from the station decided to go for a pick nick in a nearby park. You may guess by now this was not a closed facility, meaning that patients were not physically restrained or thought to be a danger to themselves and others. Still, some of them had symptoms comparable to those of people I had met in a closed facility some months before, possibly meaning that this clinic simply encouraged and trusted its patients more than other institutions. Along these lines, I remember being invited to a former patient’s birthday party on the other side of town. I commented to the nurse at the entrance that I might be back really late, and she just smiled and wished me a fun evening! All over, I felt that the staff of this clinic was more interested in motivating patients to return to functional life than in isolating them from it. This should be one of the core objectives of psychiatric hospitals, but as things are you have to be very lucky to find a place like this.

Being hospitalized at any psychiatric h clinic is always difficult and scary, because you are often so hopeless that you just can’t fathom a way out of your crisis. But definitely, the attitude of a psychiatric clinic towards its patients is crucial for your recovery. Being guarded by an institution whose staff works against you by violating your dignity and undermining your trust can be the last nail in your coffin. I am certain such places don’t even contribute to the destruction of their patients on purpose. They fall prey to an intellectual fallacy by thinking you have to recover by yourself, and all they have to do is medicate you and lock you up. If the day they examine you again you haven’t improved, they just assume you need some more drugs and additional time behind closed doors. Being locked in by people who disregard your personal integrity could drive a healthy person bonkers. Now imagine what it does to someone who is already weakened. If anyone ever comes out of there cured, it is a miracle rather than a medical success. Such clinics fail to recognize their role as active participants in your healing process, and therefore contribute to your sinking even deeper into illness. On the other hand, staying at a clinic that practices an attitude of encouragement and support towards its patients helps you greatly, if not decisively, in putting your act back together.

In my belief, the biggest shortcoming of hospital environments is how they isolate patients from life. When you are confined to a clinic, you logically cannot participate in society the way you do living freely. But it is that very sense of being stuck in limbo that can worsen feelings of depression and hopelessness in patients. Who if not the very institution our society provides for healing should allow the ill to gather new strength and return to active existence? I am sure the more life is brought to a hospital in the shape of social and artistic therapies, fresh foods, biological life such as plants, comforting scents, natural daylight, cozy areas for relaxation and fresh air, the more curative it will be. Staying at a psychiatric clinic may not allow you to be immersed in everyday life, but it must offer the clear perspective of equipping you for it.

Right now, many hospitals make people sicker. My acquaintance’s father was right about that. The practice of medicine and psychiatry is often still not humane, not loving, not caring, enough. To a culture devout to science and rational thinking this sounds amateurish and cheesy. Yet, it is a profound truth. If science has not been able yet to define or measure love, compassion, health and vital energy, it is by force also unable to produce those. It is one thing to give someone a pill for their intestinal cramps. It is another to attempt mending someone’s broken spirit in the same way. Our health system still has a lot to learn.

Some Words on: Weight Gain on Psychoactive Medication

It is, very sadly, true. Using psychiatric medication often leads to substantial and rapid weight gain. When I was first put on an antipsychotic, which was Olanzapine (Zyprexa), I gained over thirty pounds in a matter of just a few months. After switching to Quetiapine (Seroquel), my weight stopped going up, and through a healthier diet I even managed to shed some of it, but I never went back to what used to be my normal weight. Now, I am constantly teetering on the edge of overweight. My BMI (Body mass Index) oscillates between 24.9 (which is borderline acceptable) and 25.1 (overweight). In addition to the weight, my entire body texture seems to have changed. Even without regular exercise, I used to be athletic and lean by nature. Now, I have cellulitis bumps on different parts of my body and look slightly out of shape. The only good thing about being fuller is that also my boobs have grown by one cup size. I’ve gone from A to B. This is not to say that you should try psychoactive drugs as a measure of breast enlargement. Absolutely don’t do it! Fact is, these medications mess with your metabolism on top of potentially messing with your mind and with all sorts of biological functions. So no games, please! Every now and then, marketing of psychiatric drugs includes enthusiastic statements like “does not cause weight gain” (the atypical antipsychotic Aripiprazole, aka Abilify, for example), which are to increase their attractiveness among the target group. This, more than anything, shows how common weight gain is as a side effect of these substances.

But what if you are already there? Is there any way of losing the pounds? First of all, it is important to remember that diets and exercise regimes which work fine on people who do not use psychiatric drugs, won’t be as efficient on someone who does. Weight loss will likely be slow and unspectacular. It is not impossible, but it is harder to achieve. Still, you should not feel discouraged. Both a healthy diet and regular workouts will boost your overall health and help you stabilize your mood. In fact, exercise has been found to be highly effective against depression. Also, physical activity offers a great opportunity for leaving the isolation of your four walls, getting among people, breathing some invigorating fresh air and catching lovely sunlight for some extra vitamin D. If sports and healthy eating habits fail to lower your BMI in a direct way, they can still contribute to it by making you less in need of medication. Both are, in any case, worth the effort.

If you decide to diet, do it responsibly. Please do not embark on a starvation course. Your body and mind need their nutrients, especially when your health is already compromised. Put together a balanced nutrition plan rich in fresh vegetables, fiber, “good” fats (red fish, avocado, nuts, etc.), protein and fruit. Avoid processed foods, refined sugars and carbs, sodium laden snacks and in general anything that reeks of junk food. Also, abstain from artificial sweeteners, preservatives or colorants. If you are on psychiatric medication, you are already consuming potent and potentially dangerous chemicals. Try not to add even more through your food.  As a rule of thumb, note that the less processed – or the more natural – a food is, the better. As for drinks: have no sodas; just water, teas and smoothies without added sugar. It is not necessary to take radical measures like turning vegan or saying goodbye to dairy products. If you associate the concept of healthy eating with a bunch of barefoot, skinny tree-huggers gnawing on raw carrots and celery, then you will need to reeducate yourself. Healthy eating means experiencing real food with real flavors made of real ingredients. Subsisting mainly on junk food is neither cool, nor manly, nor useful. Knowing what it can do to you, it is plain stupid and a waste of money, time and life. For those who sustain that “Junk food is so much cheaper”: Buying sodas and fries may save you a dollar in the moment, but an extra expense for whole foods can save you hundreds, if not thousands of dollars in medical treatment and work incapacity in the long run. I am not saying you should never set foot in a fast food restaurant again. I myself do it on rare occasions, and when I am at a party where a decadent buffet is winking at me… what the heck, I am at a party! So, be naughty every once in a while, but never let highly processed foods become a staple in your diet.

Nowadays, most foods are, first and foremost, designed to please our taste buds. The real purpose of food, which is to provide nutrition, is presented as a collateral benefit by the food industry. Creaminess, fluffiness, sweetness, crunchiness – all these are prioritized over nutritious value in food marketing. Most often, the “healthy”-tag is just another means of selling you virtual garbage as nutrition. Milk chocolate contains milk, which contains calcium, which is good for you. So, chocolate bars are healthy, eat as many as you like! Having been exposed to this type of discourses since childhood, many consumers have never developed a clear idea about what food actually is. They would never expect their car to run on soap water, but they do expect their own bodies and minds to run on meals and snacks devoid of nutrients. In other words, they eat things that are, in fact, not food at all. Popular wisdom such as “sugar is energy” or “if I feel full, then I have given my body what it needs” is completely misleading. You can feel stuffed after having eaten a shoe sole. Yet, your organism will get nothing out of it. You can fill a car tank with soap water – until it spills over, actually! It will no doubt be full, yet the car won’t run.

Nobody knows exactly how much damage our trashy diet is doing to us. We are likely to have seen barely the tip of the iceberg so far. Probably, more physical ailments, mental conditions and cognitive disabilities are a result of intoxication and deficiencies induced by our diet than we can fathom at this moment in time. Mainstream eating habits and ruthless food marketing have created a paradoxical scenario. People who consume processed foods can be morbidly obese and still malnourished. You can eat monstrous amounts of calories and still be dangerously deficient on nutrients. Many diets out there are just as much of a health threat as our trashy eating habits. Dieting is often misunderstood as selective starvation. The idea behind it is that achieving a lower weight will supposedly make you healthier. Every new issue of any women’s magazine will promote another grotesque diet, and each time it is advertised as finally being the real thing to get you into lollypop-shape in no time. Having only apple cider vinegar with chili powder for two weeks in a row while keeping your habitual level of activity should definitely make you lose a few pounds. But will it make you healthier? And remember, you are (likely) not a celebrity! You have no millions to spend on personal nutritionists, private doctors and plastic surgeons to patch you back up again. Celebrity diets can be survived only by celebrities.

So, masochistic dieting will not result in a healthy weight, but only being healthy will. In other words, the first thing you want to do is establish optimum health. You need to get rid of toxins, balance your hormones and provide your organism with the necessary nutrients. Reformulate your eating habits into a plan that leaves out damaging food products and embraces whole foods. And don’t worry: whole foods are at least as delicious as processed and prepared food. You will be astonished at the mind boggling variety in flavors, textures and colors nature offers you. No junk food can ever keep up with that.

If you are using psychiatric drugs, in addition to following a healthy diet you will need to make an extra effort in detoxing your metabolism and achieving hormonal balance. Very likely, your liver is working overtime to process the substances you are using. Give it a hand by consuming liver-cleansing foods and drinks. Mostly, that is going to be certain vegetables and teas. Cruciferous, slightly bitter veggies such as broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts and cauliflower should be staples for you. In fact, cauliflower is incredibly multifaceted. It can be made into low-carb pizza dough, lasagna, hash browns and many other delicious dishes. Another advantage of vegetables is that you can practically eat as much as you like of them without putting your health at risk. Which other food allows for that? So, enjoy your greens! As for drinks, you can have freshly pressed lemon juice mixed with pure water, veggie smoothies and organic green tea. Many websites will also promote grapefruit juice as liver-cleansing, which is correct. However, remember that grapefruit can interact with your medication, so please abstain from consuming it in any form. There are more than enough safe options for you out there. For further inspiration, you can also browse health food stores for liver-cleansing herbal tea blends.

When you put together your new diet, there are three factors which determine what you will be eating: what your body needs, what you should avoid and what you like. If you keep an open mind, these three need not clash. Don’t be afraid to try out recipes you had not known yet. This is also a good moment for having yourself checked for food allergies. Give your eating plan a thorough clean-up! As a result, you may have to quit a number of eating habits, but you will also discover a wealth of new options to compensate for those. And always remember to go for the fresh and natural! Now, keep in mind you won’t drop three sizes overnight. Although your medication-induced weight may be bothering you, its loss is not your primary goal! Your primary goal is to become healthier and strengthen your body and mind. As a secondary effect, weight loss is likely to follow an improved overall health.

Websites:

For those who prefer a conventional approach to weight-loss, turn to www.weightwatchers.com or www.weightwatchers.co.uk.

Articles:

This post from the blog beyondmeds.com deals with the author´s personal experience with weight gain on psychiatric medication and weight loss after coming off the drugs: http://beyondmeds.com/2012/08/06/weight-psych-meds/ You may want to have a look at the rest of the blog, too. It is elaborate and full of valuable articles.

Here is a blog article in English by athlete Cathy Brown on how she successfully managed her depression and her anger issues through exercise: http://www.changingmindschanginglives.com/2013/05/sport-changed-my-life-for-the-better/

Audiovisuals:

Seminar on the functioning of the liver in English by nutritionist Barbara O’Neill: http://youtu.be/KAGEhkZ-ssY Should you wish to find out more about O’Neill, visit her website at http://www.barbhealth.com/.

Dr. Eric Berg has developed a nutritional theory based on different metabolic types. According to Berg, every person corresponds to at least one of these types. As a consequence, different individuals metabolize food in varying ways and function at their healthiest on different food plans. Berg does not refer to the added complication of psychiatric drug use, but still his discourse offers fascinating and useful insights. To learn more, watch the following videos in English:

Dr. Berg’s Body Type Seminar: http://youtu.be/_m-R4RqRQqM

The Body Type Diets – What to Eat for Each Type: http://youtu.be/xvOwfkg9p2o

If you are interested in more of Dr. Berg’s theory, go to http://www.drberg.com/

Some Words on: Mental Illness as a Sales Hit

“Mental Illness” has become a ubiquitous term in mainstream media. In many instances, they are promoted with the same nonchalance as over-the-counter medications, and little is said about their negative effects. As a consequence, consumers are more likely to start using psychotropic medications. At the same time, doctors are getting increasingly casual about prescribing them under the pretext of a hastily made diagnosis. Strangely, having a (not too scary) mental disorder is now almost a fashionable accessory to your personal presentation. Remarking at a cocktail party you have ADHD or anxiety disorder at the same time as being a successful professional makes you incredibly interesting. Don’t try this with schizophrenia or other spooky sounding conditions, though, unless you want to have the couch you’re sitting on all to yourself. Read more on social isolation and psychiatric conditions in my post “Some Words on: The Social Stigma of Mental Illness”.

The idea that you can have a “normal” life despite being mentally ill is one of the strongest messages the pharmaceutical industry uses for marketing psychiatric drugs. But they don’t only target potential consumers; they also offer attractive deals to prescribers. Tagging a patient with some or the other “disorder” and sending them home with a prescription is profitable for psychiatrists just as it is for pharmaceutical companies. As a consequence, prescribers with less than very sound work ethics are prone to over-diagnosing patients. Conveniently, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) gets thicker with every new edition, so more diagnoses can be cooked up and more prescriptions issued. Evidently, this puts patients at risk of being inaccurately diagnosed and unnecessarily drugged. They fall prey to the trust they learned to have towards health care professionals since early childhood. If something is wrong, Doc knows best how to fix it – or does he?

Where a psychiatrist draws the line between an emotional crisis and mental illness is up to his personal judgment. If you wonder why prescribers don’t simply test their patients for mental illness just to make sure they really need medication, the answer makes the psychiatric discipline appear in a rather unfavorable light. There are no tests. Not medical tests, in any case. No blood tests and no brain scan can reveal mental illness. Psychiatrists have no choice but to take at face value what the patient discloses about their state. In a clinical setting, doctors can also recur to observing patient’s behavior, but even that can be interpreted in many different ways. Apart from that, it is usually nurses or other clinic staff who deal with patients more directly and more often than the prescribing doctor, who therefore works with a lot of second-hand information. Then, there are the psychometric tests. Patients may be presented with a questionnaire, for example. Now, questionnaires are statistical tools, but they are no means of exact measurement. If you have someone do the same test twice, they are likely to give slightly different answers the second time – especially if the list of questions is long and graded answers are possible. Also, what does answering “no” to questions like “Do you enjoy social gatherings?” mean in psychiatric terms? Do you suffer from social anxiety or are you just not a party animal? And finally, what if a patient, out of shame or whichever other motivation, gives inaccurate answers? Again, questionnaires are a fine statistical tool, but they are not equivalent to a medical exam. Yet, this is what psychiatrists base their diagnosis on: personal accounts given by the patient, psychometric tests, observations of clinical staff or significant others. At the end of the day, the psychiatrist has to patch all these puzzle pieces together and try to match the resulting impression to one or the other mental pathology in the ever-changing DSM.

Just for laughs here: I got tested with those famous ink blotch cards by a psychologist when I was in my psychotic break. Her conclusion: I was “too creative”, because apparently my perceptions were not classical enough for her. Where other people would have seen an evil moth, I made out two dancing African ladies. When I remarked that I had a couple of degrees in arts and that it was therefore my job to be creative, she just said: “No, no, even as an artist you still need to be adapted.” In other words, I failed to be crazy in a normal way… Woman, I was immersed in psychosis and all you found wrong with me was my creativity??? No further comment.

So, a significant number of psychiatric diagnoses are given to people who are fundamentally healthy, but who are seeking medical help because they are naturally – and necessarily – struggling to overcome a personal crisis. Few psychiatrists will remind them emotions are our connection with reality, be they positive or negative. Instead, both prescribers and the pharmaceutical industry have a political and economic interest in making you forget that humans need grief, need sadness and need anger. In fact, it is questionable whether the feelings we call negative deserve such a bad reputation. After all, they warn us when things are going wrong, when we need a change, when we are in danger, when we need to take a break from our daily grind. Can it ever be healthy to suppress these signals? Wouldn’t it be better to acknowledge them and discover their source? Is conflict solving not the natural way of reestablishing balance and well-being in our lives? If you choose to numb your instincts with drugs, you may temporarily escape the discomfort of facing your problem, but you will also steer further and further into it without even noticing. What would be healthier: worrying about a difficult curve ahead or blissfully driving off the cliff? Not everything in life is made of pink cotton candy – it was never meant to be.

Then why are people so anxious about being “normal”? Whoever defined what normalcy actually is? Well, just look around you. Mass media bombard us with consumerist utopias 24/7. Wherever you turn, beautiful men and women with impressive careers live in stylish homes, throw hip parties, enjoy perfect health and, most importantly, have found the laundry detergent that makes all this possible. Tragically, the pharmaceutical industry has joined this very profitable ride. Feel imperfect in any way? Feel troubled, fearful or sad sometimes? Or have you simply not learned how to be happy? No problem, help is nigh. We won’t teach you how to resolve those issues, but we have a pill that can make you forget you have them. If your life is a mess, just sweep all that emotional clutter under the carpet and your existence will look as if it were perfect.

Psychiatric medications are made for halting acute, disabling crisis, and nothing less than that. They are not dietary supplements you can just take on a daily basis to supposedly optimize your performance in everyday life. Yet, that is how they are being marketed. In countries like the USA and New Zealand, psychiatric drugs can be advertised on TV, along with cars, shampoos and what have you. Those commercials make it look as if mental illness were as minor a thing as the occasional headache or dandruff. People are made to believe they can just try any psychiatric drug and see if it helps them get along better with their boss or feel less stressed out by the tornado of over-sugared brats who obliterate their homes every day. In fact, many prescriptions nowadays are issued to patients who demand a specific drug they know from an advertisement. Way too often, prescribers comply without much ado. After all, the waiting room is crowded with people and every minute saved on one patient equals money earned on the next one.

Mental illness has become a booming market. No doubt should we be grateful for the many life-improving medications we have at our disposal, including psychiatric drugs. But just where does care end and exploitation begin? How is a consumer to distinguish between information and marketing? What means does one have to confirm the prescriber’s diagnosis unequivocally? Few medical disciplines are as double-faced as psychiatry is at the moment. Try convincing a non-diabetic of injecting themselves with insulin, and try making someone believe their life could be even better if they took psychiatric drugs. While the first is virtually impossible, the latter is easy. It is what happens many times over, every day, all over the planet.

It would be futile to wait for the health industry to change. As long as consumers believe medicine is always altruistic and trustworthy, they will be vulnerable to manipulation. Medicine, and psychiatry, SHOULD have a humanitarian mission rather than being a cutthroat business. But not all health care professionals and pharmaceutical companies want to know about that. However, the situation is not hopeless. You as a consumer and potential target sit at one end of the lever. You can ask questions and have a right to utter your skepticism. If you are unsure whether you need a prescription for psychiatric medication or not, the following actions can help you obtain a clearer vision of things:

  • Go for a second or even third opinion from another doctor.
  • Have a general medical checkup. Nutritional deficiencies, allergies, a damaged liver or thyroid dysfunction may be causing your symptoms. Also, have a neurological exam in order to rule out anomalies in your brain structure.
  • Take a critical look at your lifestyle and habits. Are you getting enough sleep, and if not, why (do you ingest a lot of caffeine, do you have sleep apnea, is your bedroom not dark or quiet enough, etc.)? Are you consuming any recreational drugs (including alcohol)? Are you getting enough movement and fresh air? Do you eat well? Are you regularly exposed to toxic substances?
  • What is going on in your private and professional life? Which stressors can you change or at least shield yourself from?
  • Are you carrying around an old childhood trauma or other painful experiences? These have to be worked on!
  • What is your universe made up of? Is life cold and empty to you? Find things to fill in those existential gaps. I am not necessarily talking religion here. I mean bring something into your life to help you appreciate your existence.
  • If you have a prescription, evaluate if taking the drug is worth the risk. If its negative effects outweigh the damage you are suffering from your perceived problem, refrain from using it.
  • Talk to a psychotherapist or counselor. Maybe your problems can be solved through therapy rather than drugs. If you are a believer, you can also consult with a spiritual guide.
  • Ask close friends, relatives or other people you trust how they perceive you. Their perspective may vary greatly – and in your favor – from your self-perception. Don’t be shy to accept their support and their love. Those are invaluable gifts.
  • Read, read, read. Remember: knowledge is power.

Having gathered enough information, make an educated choice. Whether you wish to try psychiatric medications or whether you prefer doing without them, both of them are valid ways, and for both you deserve respect and support. There is no shame and no guilt about any of the two. All is about building a life you’re able to love. Pick the best help you can find to get there.

The following are links you can learn more from.

Webpages:

MindFreedom is a website defending human rights in the mental health system. On this page, you can find links to various articles on doubtful marketing strategies for psychiatric medications. http://www.mindfreedom.org/kb/psych-drug-corp

Articles:

“Inappropiate Prescribing”: Article for the American Psychological Association (APA) by Brendan L. Smith, in English. http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/06/prescribing.aspx

“The Psychiatric Drug Crisis”: Article for The New Yorker by Gary Greenberg, in English. http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/elements/2013/09/psychiatry-prozac-ssri-mental-health-theory-discredited.html

“Drug Companies Just Say ‘No’ to Psychiatric Drugs”: Article in English for Psychology Today, written by Pulitzer Prize nominee Robert Whitaker. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mad-in-america/201106/drug-companies-just-say-no-psych-drugs

Audiovisuals:

“The Marketing of Madness” is a documentary on the marketing strategies employed by the pharmaceutical industry and the prescription of psychotropic drugs to patients who would not have really needed them. A must watch, available in English language on YouTube. http://youtu.be/IgCpa1RlSdQ

“The DSM – Psychiatry’s Deadliest Scam”, in English language, documents the shortcomings in the edition of the DSM, and how the manual impacts the entire psychiatric discipline, thereby affecting thousands of lives – not always for the better. http://youtu.be/PcuhhJ1BaMk

“How to Read Your Body”, by Dr. Eric Berg, gives simple guidelines on how to assess your overall health, in order to help you and your doctor pinpoint any underlying problems. http://youtu.be/VaUAe-csKjY.

Another video by the same author is “The Ultimate Stress Lowering Technique”. Apart from proposing stress reduction exercises, Dr. Berg also taps into the subject of inaccurate psychiatric diagnoses in stressed individuals. http://youtu.be/lsoYk5rioyw

 

My Personal Withdrawal Plan – Sources and Outline

Although I seem to tolerate my current medication plan quite well, I have been striving to wean off my pills, or at least decrease the dose I am taking. But before I altered anything, I needed information. Despite my recovery from psychosis I have developed a profound mistrust towards psychiatrists and psychotherapists. Out of all the professionals who saw and treated me, maybe 20% actually knew what they were doing. The other 80% either didn’t care to help me, or they wanted to be helpful but didn’t have any idea how, or they were abusive of their authority, or they needed therapy themselves. No joke.

As a result, my first thought was that I needed information to be able to distinguish a competent psychiatrist from a quack, so I could pick the right support for my undertaking. Yet, by continuing to read about mental illness, treatment options and psychoactive drugs, I became more knowledgeable and eventually felt I was able to make informed and more autonomous choices regarding my recovery and withdrawal process. One book in particular stood out as being clearly understandable for any reader and for promoting a holistic approach to the treatment of mental illness and to medication withdrawal: Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal – A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients, and Their Families. It is one of the more recent publications of Dr. Peter Breggin, who draws on over half a century of medical experience in psychiatry. As a defender of the patient’s freedom of choice, Dr. Breggin promotes what he calls a “person-centered, collaborative approach”. Instead of turning the patient into a depersonalized and passive onlooker of their own treatment, Breggin places the patient at the very center of his therapeutic model. Around the patient, he constructs a support network consisting of a prescriber of psychiatric drugs, a psychotherapist, and significant others (family members, spouses and friends). The prescriber and the therapist can be one and the same person, but do not have to be. What is indispensable, though, is that the patient’s wishes and decisions are taken into account at all times, and that all participants in the collaborative, person-centered approach are communicating efficiently and monitoring the patient’s health development. As the title of the book reveals, Dr. Breggin writes for health care professionals, patients and their significant others alike. None of the information he gives is classified exclusively for one or the other. All people involved have the same right and access to knowledge. The patient and his or her loved ones are empowered rather than patronized. You might be able to guess by now that I highly recommend this book. Further on, I will be reviewing more literature, but for now this is my starting point.

First of all, it is important to understand that there is no standard recipe for withdrawing from psychotropic drugs. Every organism reacts differently to changes. Also, it is impossible to foresee how long it will take to wean off medication or to securely establish a new dose. As a general rule, however, slower is better, and small changes in dose are safer than big ones. This is especially true for those who have been on psychiatric medication for a long period of time. Certainly, you often hear stories about individuals who have successfully gone “cold turkey” or got rid of their pills in the course of a few weeks or months, but they were taking a high risk and were extremely lucky. They were literally playing Russian roulette with their lives. Reducing medication doses is not a sport, and there is no competition going on in who gets there first. The only reasons for withdrawing on the fast lane are life-threatening or disabling side-effects, dangerous drug interactions, pregnancy and medical conditions that turn the use of psychoactive drugs into an additional health risk. Personally, I am not in a hurry. Luckily, nothing in my life forces me to withdraw, and I can take it as slowly and safely as I like. And I like it very safe.

Evidently, withdrawal is easiest to plan being on only one drug. Now, I am on two different medications which counteract one another and are thereby meant to keep me in balance. In the morning, I take 150mg of Sertraline (SSRI antidepressant), which should have a stimulating effect. At night, right before going to sleep, I take 300mg of Quetiapine (atypical antipsychotic), to sedate me. My aim is to reduce doses alternately, maintaining the proportion between both drugs. I will start with the antidepressant. If everything goes well, the antipsychotic is to follow. Again, if the new dose works fine for me, I will keep it up for a period of time and eventually attempt another reduction.

As for the monitoring of my progress, my partner is around me every day and is in the know about my withdrawal plan. He will communicate any observations and concerns to me, is reading the same literature as I and is following my blog. Other friends will also be part of my private watch team. I do have a prescriber, yet I admit I haven’t decided on the involvement of a psychotherapist. Frankly, I feel reluctant to do so. Right up to my psychotic break, I had been seeing a shrink for several years, and she was unable to identify any warning signs or put her finger on the deeper causes of my troubles. I believe I’ve had it for now, as far as psychotherapists go. Also, after the ride I’ve sat through, I am quite confident I know myself better than a therapist who sees me once weekly could. In order to boost my general health and well-being, I will work out regularly, stick to a healthy diet, sleep enough and enjoy relaxation therapies – occasional foot reflexology and back massages.

The following is an illustration of how I ideally wish to proceed. This plan, as for now, has five phases that may be subject to changes, depending on whether I tolerate the dose reductions. If I don’t, I may need to return to the previous dose and postpone further changes for a long enough while to become stable again. You will notice I haven’t planned a complete withdrawal. While I was figuring out the graphics, the thought of actually putting this plan into practice made me feel all wobbly. In the attempt of outlining a sixth and seventh phase I might have fainted and slipped underneath my desk. So, let this be good for now.

I apologize for the miniature format of the graphics. The originals are a good size, but for some reason, they won’t come out bigger once inserted into this post. You can upscale your view of this page on the bottom right of your screen.

withdrawal plan phase 1

withdrawal plan phase 2

withdrawal plan phase 3

withdrawal plan phase 4

withdrawal plan phase 5

Some Words on: The Social Stigma of Mental Illness

I am very careful about whom I tell I had a psychotic break and am still taking psychoactive medication. It is only a few people who know. This is not because I enjoy being dishonest, and I am also not ashamed of my condition. The reason is that, no matter how intelligent or good natured most of our social and professional contacts are, they are very likely hardwired to start questioning your capacities and interpret whatever you do or say in terms of your supposed craziness from the moment they learn about it. It is not their fault. It is what society has taught them.

The mechanics of prejudice work like this: imagine you are at a dinner party. An acquaintance leans over and whispers in your ear: “See Henry over there? I think he’s gay!” For the rest of the evening, you will be looking for signs of Henry’s homoerotic preferences. He prefers Piña Colada over beer, strawberry ice-cream over chocolate and also dresses tastefully? Oh my God, he is SO gay! How could you not have noticed before? He brought his long-time girlfriend along to the party? Not a problem at all – he is probably in denial and hasn’t yet come out of the closet.

Along these lines, people who know about your diagnosis and your medication routine will read your every move as a sign of your condition. You forgot to send an email? That’s because you’re demented either by your illness or by your medication. You get pissed at a colleague who snatched a customer away from you? You have uncontrollable anger issues caused by either illness or medication. You tell someone in the office you had trouble falling asleep last night? Of course, you are a lunatic! Any of these situations happening to a “healthy” person is just stuff that happens naturally from time to time and need not worry anyone – after all, nobody’s perfect, right?

Again, I emphasize that this kind of over-diagnosing is not ill-intended in most cases. It occurs pretty much automatically. Most people, although educated and cultured, simply don’t know enough about mental illness and therefore are uncertain what to expect. This uncertainty generates mistrust, fear, and ultimately discrimination. I must admit I used to be no better. Years before my psychotic break, a fellow student at university admitted to being schizophrenic and taking medication. Although I didn’t want to be mean, I couldn’t help but fear that if I invited her home she might, out of the blue, snap and pull a kitchen knife on me. Now I know how unfair that was. Mental illness seldom is a threat to others. It is, unfortunately, a huge danger to the sufferer’s own happiness. The cruelty of my own prejudice hit me like a truck when I got diagnosed as psychotic myself.

My recommendation to you is: think through the possible consequences of telling any- and everyone. It is true that mental illness should finally be discussed more openly in order to put an end to discrimination. However, I warn you against thinking it up to you to make that happen all by yourself. Do not turn yourself into cannon fodder. Imagine calling up the Gestapo in the middle of the Holocaust and telling them “Hey guys, I wanna come clean, I´m Jewish…” No way! You need your lifelines intact. You need a job, you need your studies, you need your social contacts, you need a life! If you wish to make this world a better place for people with psychiatric diagnoses, there is a host of organizations you can support who will appreciate your contributions to their cause. See the appendix of this article for relevant links. Also, ask yourself if your diagnosis or your medication plan is relevant information at all, say, at your workplace. Can you do your job efficiently, just like everybody else? If your answer is “yes”, then what is the use of drawing attention to your problem? As long as you’re an accomplished, say, software programmer and reliably fulfill all demands, why would your boss or your co-workers need to know you’re receiving psychiatric treatment? It is not relevant. Imagine being at a job interview at some lab and saying: “Hi, I have a Master’s degree in molecular biology and graduated with honors. Oh, and I guess I should mention that I enjoy visiting swinger clubs on the weekends.” Why would you shoot yourself in the foot like that by disclosing a superfluous fact that will cast a shadow on your merits? It is neither intelligent nor honorable. Of course things are different when your condition does affect your performance negatively. If you suffer from an anxiety disorder which makes socializing difficult for you, you will not wish to be placed in the customer service department. In that case, your superior and your co-workers need to know and understand. Give them a chance to pick tasks for you that are manageable and offer you the opportunity of performing at your best.

To sum it all up, only tell someone you are on psychiatric medication when you are absolutely sure this person will not make your honesty backfire on you. The slightest doubt, the tiniest hunch that you feel, may well indicate it is not the right person to trust or not the right moment to speak. As a rule of thumb, do not trust people more than they trust you.

Your social network is made up of three kinds of contacts: those you must tell, those you can tell and those who – at least for now – you should not tell. Make sure you identify them correctly. People who absolutely need to know about your condition are your partner, your roommate, close family, your closest friends. Everyone else you have to gauge for suitability and trustworthiness first.

Is this way of proceeding ethical? Is it alright not to be an open book? If it is not relevant to the situation, there is no need for exposing yourself. Society seems to impose an absolute moral obligation to be open and sincere. But remember that the reactions you’ll get from people who can’t handle your confessions can be unethical and harmful to you (this is a parody of what I mean – watch this tragically funny NAMI sponsored commercial: http://youtu.be/Dw_I-G1smoo). It is one thing to be sincere and give others information they actually need in order to coexist with you, but it is another to unnecessarily feed yourself to the dogs. Being inappropriately heroic might cost you your job, your social circle, your inner peace and your dignity. Think twice. Decide wisely, for your personal integrity, independence and even your prospects of recovery are at stake.

 

Websites:

The following organizations aims to improve the life quality of individuals diagnosed with mental illness. This includes educating the public and those diagnosed with mental illness to create more awareness and better integration. Anyone can register as a member.

National Alliance of Mental Illness (USA, in English and Spanish): http://www.nami.org/

Mental Health Foundation (UK) has a similar mission as NAMI: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Rething Mental Illness (UK): http://www.rethink.org/

Canadian mental Health Association (CA): http://cmhanl.ca/

Articles:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-we-worry/201308/mental-health-stigma

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/S/stigma-discrimination/

Article for the Canadian Mental Health Association (in English): http://www.cmhanl.ca/pdf/Stigma.pdf

http://www.changingmindschanginglives.com/2013/11/a-diagnosis-of-schizophrenia-set-me-apart-from-the-rest-of-the-world/

Audiovisuals:

Information video by the IWK Health Centre and the Canadian Mental Health Association titled Stigma and Mental Illness: http://youtu.be/LTIZ_aizzyk. Brief interviews with health care professionals and psychiatric patients portray the stigma of mental illness within the health care system. A must-watch!

Symposium about mental illness stigma hosted by Carleton University. You will find an extensive watch-list with videos of the speakers of the symposium here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMVfVuI0zwE&list=PL23BEAD8F06537216

A bold discourse not everyone may agree with, but that everyone should have listened to. Canadian essayist Stefan Molyneux talks about his theory on mental illness: http://youtu.be/J_O24tnqs_U (part 1) and http://youtu.be/mgqIUf8Jg-c (part 2).

Jayme-Lee Pablos, a psychology student reads her paper on social constructs and social stigma of mental illness: http://youtu.be/X3hJqB20r1g (part 1) and http://youtu.be/oiTCgxhKPok (part 2). Her work portrays an academic standpoint rather than looking to provide help, but it is interesting information.