Some words on: Splitting the atom with pill-cutters and patience

Logically, as I move on to lower doses of medication, also the adjustments on the way to the next smaller dose need to become finer. Pill-cutters work great when it comes to halving tablets, or even splitting sufficiently large, round tablets into quarters. But unless you can get hold of low-dosage pills, the utility of this gadget has its limits. More often than not, my attempting to cut pills into exact portions smaller than one half, has resulted in me plucking minute white crumbs out of the pill-cutter and piecing them together to approximately one day´s dose. Some pills simply resist being cut precisely. To avoid such hassle, I prefer using my pill-cutter in combination with a method of spacing out the intake of the old, higher dose in favor of the next lower one. The underlying idea is to gradually diminish the average amount of the respective substance in my organism until reaching the following lower target dose. Here is an example of how I have been doing it:

graphic sertraline withdrawal

I came across this procedure in Dr. Peter Breggin´s book Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal, and have mentioned it briefly in an earlier post on this blog as well. The graphic above does not reflect the exact way Dr. Breggin helps his patients decrease their drug intake, but it is an adaptation of his idea to my own circumstances. Another way of doing it by blocking high and lower doses according to a weekly plan would be to take the new dose on one day of the first week, two following days of the second week, three following days of the third week, and so on. It could look something like this – red spaces represent the old, higher dose of a drug and blue spaces the new, lower one:

suggestion weekly withdrawal plan

As you can see, the concept is flexible. You or your doctor may come up with other variations, even shortening or lengthening the duration of each step in your withdrawal process according to your own needs. In addition, I have to point out, once again, that I am not a professional in the medical field. This blog documents my individual way of handling medication withdrawal, but I am in no way qualified to give anyone else instruction in this matter. My hope and purpose is to encourage you to acquire the means and the support you need to improve your health. If you believe the method of psychiatric drug withdrawal I am describing in this article might also be helpful in your case or for someone you know, please seek further information with professionals and consult relevant literature. I am sorry if I am repeating myself with this sort of disclaimer, but I truly do not wish for anyone to get hurt in the execution of domestic experiments with psychoactive substances.

Up to now, I have been faring well using this method of dose reduction. All that is necessary is to keep track of where you are at in your plan – and to have your plan for each dose reduction written out for your reference. Personally, I keep a handwritten list of days and corresponding dosages, and tick off day by day. This way, each decrease in dosage takes me around five to six weeks. After completing the change, I wait for another couple of weeks before I make any modifications to my intake of the other drug I am using. Thereby, I hope to make sure each alteration of my medication plan is well under control in that I can recognize any adverse reactions and, most importantly, relate them directly to specific changes I have made. In order to take psychiatric medications, and also in order to wean off them safely, it is vital to notice the effects using them – or ceasing to use them – has on you. When you experience negative side-effects or withdrawal symptoms, you need to find out what caused them. A clear-cut medication and withdrawal plan helps generate such transparency, provided you follow up on it diligently. Being structured also allows for making well thought-through modifications to your plan if things should not go smoothly. Suffering adverse effects is, in itself, a destabilizing experience. The less panic-driven and better informed your subsequent actions and decisions are, the more likely you are to get back on track and prevent a full blown crisis from developing.

At this point, I would like to remind you always to remain process-oriented, rather than goal-oriented. Diminishing psychiatric drug intake is not about reaching the lowest dose possible in the shortest amount of time possible. Your success in this area is not defined by numbers. Drug withdrawal is not a sport. It is a process, which in turn will be accompanied by further processes regarding your overall health, your attitude towards life, your relationships with others, and your personal development. All those processes and gradual shifts are what you are after. Do not attempt to force spectacular changes. Instead, care for yourself and intend to remain grounded enough to weather your everyday life. If, at some point, looking back you can say you are feeling better about yourself than a while ago, you are headed in the right direction. Let every step forward and every choice be the natural result of your inner development and a subtle stimulus for further growth. Do what you can, but never try to find out where your breaking point is by challenging yourself to your limits. Do not hurry. Keep in mind it is better to walk calmly and securely than risking to stumble, fall and having to pick yourself back up all over again. Take all the measures you can to stay at peace. Protect yourself, nourish yourself.

Funnily, at present I am reading a book about writing and just came across a sentence I wish to quote here: “We´ll see progress in time. But we can´t expect to every day.” (Louise De Salvo, The Art of Slow Writing). In other words: do not drive yourself bonkers with undue pressure, nor let anyone else do so. As long as you are honestly working towards your health and your life´s improvement, you are doing well. Or, regurgitating a quote De Salvo took from Stephen King, describing his return to writing after a devastating accident which forced him to undergo long and painstaking rehabilitation: it all is about “[…] getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, ok? Getting happy.” King was referring to his writing, but really these words describe the essence of healing. Take note, in particular, of how King uses the verb “getting”, which clearly denotes process. PROCESS! This is what you are looking for. Getting healthier and, why not, happier!

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